Fat on Fat thinking....

There is something wrong with this country.

The other day, I was at Souplantation with a friend. As I dipped my bread stick in Ranch Dressing for the umpteenth time, my head perked up like a raptor in the tall grass to what sounded like a group of chinchillas being sodomized with reeds. It was a table of women, all LARGE and IN CHARGE, and it was then I realized that there was no one under 250 pounds in this place to be seen.

I found it ironic that in Souplantation, a self proclaimed "healthy" eatery, is filled with nothing but Water buffalo and Dugongs. Yet, In and Out, a place that prides its self on its Double Double Hamburgers and Shakes, is filled with anorexic emo kids and modestly fit families.

Its as if Bizzaro world is starting to merge with our world, and people of its land are pushing mind altering drugs on us.

It was at this time that I pondered this question, as I sat in front of my salad pile, that had noodles, croutons, 3 kinds of oils and vinegars, beacon bits, cheese and FAT FREE honey mustard dressing that's shaped like the Devil's Tower from Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind. (and believe me, the fact that my last name is EATON and Im grossly overweight is not lost on me)What the fuck? How could this be. It must be the same reaction when people learn that there was a serial killer living next door to them for years and always thought that strange smell was just his compost pile in the back because the guy is ECO FRIENDLY.

My friend then pointed out that this place is still a BUFFET style restaurant. Meaning all you can eat, as he pointed to the stack of bread sticks on my plate. Because it has its "HEALTHY STATUS", everyone here eats more than Swine at their troughs, and super load on the inhuman amount of carbs that are included in said meal. Meanwhile, everyone who eats at In and Out, well, are health nuts getting a quick fix of junk food so they don't go completely insane, before they go mountain biking or, if they're emo scene kids, go cut themselves in self pity.

It put a damper on the place. Noting that most of the crowd there that night were all rocking sweat pants and tight fitting shirts. Something I would of expected at HOEMTOWN BUFFET, but not here.

It just made me realize that, A) I need to pay attention more B) we're mostly fucked as a race.

Considering my weight issues, I thought long and hard about my eating habits. Then, I went back to dunking my cheesy bread stick into a vat of home style ranch dressing.

My gym pass will get proper use one of these days...

BEST THING I"VE SEEN TODAY!

This picture...


of Weird Al in Rob Zombies Halloween 2.........

Al and Malcolm McDowel. Finally.. there is peace in the world.