Oh Irony!

So recently, the California state supreme court held up PROP 8, which ban's gay marriage. People were pissed, and blood and possibly semen filled the streets.

Blah blah.

The fact that Gay marriage is banned in what is possibly the most liberal state in the union is not what I find hilarious, its the people that helped pass the prop in the first place.

See, back in November, when this whole thing was going on, there was a shit load of YES on Prop 8 ads that were on par with German propagandize films. The two main themes that they struck home were that A) THE SCHOOLS ARE GOING TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE!!!! Meaning that their fragile little minds will be blown by the idea of a woman kissing another woman or a dude blowing another dude!



2) That the evil gays will FORCE THE CHURCHES TO MARRY THEM!!!!!!! OH MY GOD NO!!!!!!!!

Now, anyone with 2 fucking brain cells that rub together like dolphins in an orgy, knows that neither of this shit was true.

Truns out, you can sell bull shit to just about anyone in this state.

And who exactly bought in to this bull shit...






oh, and retarded white people like this...




I know what you're thinking.. Chris you racist bastard.

And I say to that.. FUCK YOU!

Check out this exit poll data!

What astounds me and makes me laugh is this:

Two major "minorities" The Blacks and the Hispanics (The Mexicans.. I am talking about California in the majority) These two groups have been bitching and fucking whining about how the white man and the establishment has been keeping them down for years. YEARS!

As a white male, I have lived with this stereotype.. being the WHITE DEVIL! I have to watch my word structuring in every day life lest I be labeled a full on racist. If I jump out in a crowded room, and say "THE JIG IS UP" and there's a black guy there, WELL, guess who's the fucking racist!

Well, now it seems that see-saw of injustice tilts both ways!

See, the election for Prop 8 also happened to be the same election that the "NATION" (I.E. the Electoral Collage) elected our current, BLACK president, Barack Obama!

To make something clear, I'm a full on Obama supporter. The man has a brain, and clearly showed that he can think clearly!

But who turned out in record numbers to "vote" for Obama? The Blacks.. and shockingly, the Mexicans!

And what did they cast as their vote when it came to the rights of the GAYS, a fellow minority...

A stern YES on 8! A nice Fuck you to the gays!

When given the chance, they put their collective foot down and stomped on the hopes and dreams of a group of people that were just asking for one little thing..

I find it fucking hilarious!

A nation voted a black man in office, but the black/Hispanics couldn't give it up for some people that just wanted a fucking title!

Why? Because they wanted to stick it to some one? Possibly. I personally blame 2 things. The stout religious following of both groups, and the fact that most of them are poorly educated and believed the hype that the Pro 8 ads spewed.

How do I know this?

Well, from just a personal stand point, I work with a large collection of Hispanics (I don't think we have anyone that's black at my work...) and Asians.. but a lot of Hispanics. So the day after the election, I was having a conversation with the cashier at my work. She happens to be of Hispanic decent. I thought at this point that, sans some of her pro feminist bull, that she was reasonably smart. WRONG.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: So who did you vote for?

Cashier: Obama

Me: And did what did you vote on 8?

Cashier: I voted yes..

Me: Um.. can I ask why?

Cashier: Well, I have nothing wrong with gay people, I just don't want the churches to get sued.

Me: I dont mean to be brash, but you're fucking retarded.

Cashier: How

Me: Gays can't sue any church to get married in a church. Theres a law stating separation of Church and state.

Cashier: But they said that it would happen if they were allowed to get married.

Me: First off, they were already allowed to get married, for like 6 months! Did you hear about any churches getting sued???

Cashier: No.. but prop 8 is to keep them from getting married.

Me: No! The courts said that they could get married back in June. You just voted to take those rights away.

Cashier: But they would force churches to marry them.

Me: No they wouldn't. Churches can pick and choose who ever the fuck they want to marry. If you're not Catholic, you cant get married in a Catholic Church.. same with any other church that decides so.

Cashier: Well, that's fine. Marriage is a sacred thing anyway. If they want "marriage" just call it a Civil Union

Me: First off, Marriage hasn't sacred in about 30 years. The divorce rate is at like %52 percent. Being married for over 10 years now a days is a rare triumph! So to say that Marriage is a sacred fuck thing is as retarded as Corky from Life Goes On

Cashier: Who?

Me: Never mind. Second, to call it a Civil Union is the problem because it's Separate but equal, and that's unconstitutional. Did you not pay attention to 12th grade government! Its the reason why there aren't separate water fountains anymore!

Cashier: Ok, but marriage is still a religious ceremony. Its a holy act.

Me: (now yelling) ARE YOU HIGH! No it isn't. With that thinking, then Atheist, or Asians couldn't get married. In order to get married anywhere in the united states, you have to get a state issued license. Thats what this whole thing is about. Why do you think most of these gay marriages that you had no idea were going on were all at City Halls around the state? BECAUSE ITS IN THE EYES OF THE FUCKING STATE!!!! NOT GOD!!!! Any one with the IQ of a plant that pays any attention to the world around them knows this! Just because you get married in a church, dosent mean the state will recognize it. The state needs to issue you a license so that they can take the taxes that they need from you as a couple and you can get the breaks you need from them. Hell, in the shit ball economy we're in, we need these people to get married so that we as a state can get some extra cash out of them..

Breathing..

The conversation went on from there for a few more minutes before my boss walked in and i had to make it look like I was busy.

But that wasn't the end of it. I was blown away by the back counter guy who voted Yes because he didn't want his kids learning about gay marriage in school. When I asked him how old his kids were. Answer 11 and 13

I was dumbfounded. I told him that his kids probably already knew what a rim job was.

I didn't get an answer.

After all of that, my head still hurts. After yesterday's ruling, the PRO MARRIAGE groups coming out just make me want to hit myself with a bat.

Personally, I could give less of a shit if some dude wants to smoke some poll in his house, or if some chick wants to mow grass on another chick in their apartment. If they want to be married, then so be it. I come from a broken home, I've seen first hand how people treat the 'sanctity of marriage', and believe me, its a dying breed.

My quarrel is that people are fucking stupid about stuff like this. If they stopped listening to their mob groups and gave a little shit about other people, we wouldn't have this problem. But no, these people, and I do believe that they think this, feel that GAY is going to spread like the bubonic plague and before you know it, its just going to be a rainbow covered orgy of cock sucking!

So when I find it funny that for once, the whites gave a group of people a shot, yet other minorities told them to go fuck themselves is funny.

But in this Post High School Musical generation, its only a matter of time before everyone stops giving a shit, and everyone kinda gets along..

Has the world lost its mind!

I made a commitment a few weeks ago, that, since I don't have Internet at the grandparents house (where Im currently crashing) that I would start watching more movies and catch up on TV shows (for I'm horribly behind on the SHIELD, and I do loves me some Vic Mackey)

So tonight, after a long day at work, I had a copy of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN sitting on top of my stack of TO WATCH dvds.

(in case you're wondering what else is on there, here are some titles)






Now that's a small chunk. And yes, I've already seen some of those, its just I recently picked them up on DVD.

but I digress.

Tonight, tonight was LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. A Swedish Vampire flick that a lot of people I've talked to or heard from rave about this film. Claims that it changes the Vampire movies as we see them. One of the best movies of last year.

So, I finally get the opportunity to watch it. ( I could of easily put in my bootleg of Crank 2, but I apparently wanted something.."smart")

Upon watching this movie for almost 2 hours, I got up, scratched my head, and said aloud as if expecting someone to answer me in my empty house, "TH ATS IT?"

Let the Right One In is nothing more that if Wes Anderson stopped being talented, and wanted to make a gothy kinda vampire flick about a little girl vampire (that's more than meets the eye!!!) and some dumb ass kid who gets the shit beaten out of him. The movie moved at the pace of an 104 year old man trying to get to the end of the drive way to get his paper. Nothing but wide static shots, with maybe 3 really cool looking moments. The rest is... FILLER!

This, on top of my "MEH" view on Star Trek, I started thinking that maybe I've lost touch with my inner movie geek, that maybe I'm either SUPER RETARDED, in that I only find enjoyment from dumb films, or that I've become some sort of film snob..

After deliberating for a few hours, I've come to the conclusion that the people around my generation have become poser film buffs.

These are the people that will suck the collective dicks of "artures" because they can make some indy looking fuck fest of a film. That bash every single summer film because its "TOO POPCORNY" or unintelligent. That give praise to Indy films that clearly need some constructive criticisms.

There are a lot of people that only watch what they've been "TOLD" to watch by their fucking film school teacher! That don't know that there are more classics than whats on the AFI's fucking list. PEOPLE WHO"VE NEVER SEEN THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SIMBAD!

Maybe I got lucky. I grew up in a house hold with a dad who loved to paint, and loved old comic books and loved monster movies, new and old. By the time I was 9 I had seen everything that Ray Harryhausen did and every movie Toho Studios made. I had monster movies that most people would only see on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (one of the greatest show ever BTW) On my 7 birthday, I got to see ROBOCOP 2! I was reading Famous Monsters of Film land, modern day X-men and Spidey Books, and BEOWULF by the age of 12.

I had a film understanding of whats good and what's bad. It's entertainment, if it fails to entertain you, then said piece has failed its goal.

Now, there are people walking around and screaming on the Internet about how Terminator 4 is going to suck balls because James Cameron isn't on it, and McG is, and yet, have never seen 12 Angry Men, or the original Planet of the Apes.

Maybe the culture I've decided to fold into is collapsing on its self. That theres too much pseudo intellect going around that its infusing everything else around it and dumbing down everyone.

I don't know..............


But what I do know is that LET THE RIGHT ONE IN was weaksause.

Dressed to Unimpressed

So last night, I went out to dinner with, a friend of a friend. This person happens to be of the female persuasion. (shocking!) Its not that we're strangers or anything, she kinda knows me.

The dinner was mostly consistent with what I normally do when I go out with women. Let them vent to me. I believe that the cosmos designated me as a universal ear for people to commune to their grievances. I've heard many, many stories, enough for a mid sized coffee table book I will eventually call, "BITCHING"

It's not a bad thing honestly. I've learned allot about the Human Condition just by listening, and in turn, have been able to dish out some advice here and there.

Well, last night, around hour 2 of her venting, she brought up relationships and dating. We went over her past and her style in High school. This led to a side discussion of fashion in terms to the people she associates with and with the guys she dates. I made a smart ass remark to kinda loosen the atmosphere, but she then questioned me about my past relationships.

Now, this girl has some idea of my horrid past with women, but not allot. I reiterated that I've never been in any sort of relationship. I also brought up the irony that for a while, a good portion of my friends were predominately female.

She kinda chuckled (as they all do) and told me that its probably the way I dress.

That sentence kinda came as a mild shock.

Let me explain why.

To get an idea of my sense of fashion, I provide you with these:





This is my usual attire. Super long baggy shorts, a black shirt with some sort of logo on it, and I'm usually sporting a hoodie of some sort (for the time, its my TAPOUT one) And if whether permits, my PRIDE FIGHTING beanie, and a trench coat.

Its usually the best I can do. I'm a big guy, and on top of that, not the greatest looking guy either. I would put my looks around Cave troll and garden gnome. And there's not a hell of a lot I can do to accessories. I tried this as a joke one time.



Scary..

So this girl proclaimed that when she first met me, that I kinda looked like a rapist/sleazebag.

I chuckled in victory, but she went on to say that she was serious. Now that she knows me better, she says that she knows I'M NOT a sleazebag rapist, but more or less, a nice, but lazy looking mother fucker.

This got me thinking..

Perhaps my dress code is part of my status problems,I pondered. Maybe, a lot of my social awkwardness is part in parcel of my hardcore Kevin Smith rip off look?

When that thought bubbled popped and I jolted back to reality, I told her, simply.. MEH. I'm happy the way I am. Sure, I look like I could very well end up being NORM from Cheers one day, but I told her why make myself miserable wearing shit that I don't like, when I'm fully content with what I got.

This way of thinking kinda went over her head and it took her a moment to grasp it. She honestly couldn't understand that some one like me wouldn't be changing or going above and beyond to achieve something, that simply I think, is pointless at this point.

I told her, I'm 25, while I'm still young, I'm kinda set in my ways. If the ladies don't dig on the Chris, then fine, so be it. I reaffirmed this in that why would I want to be with some one that, if they're not into my look, then they're not really into me.

From my experience, yes there is compromise to being in some sort of relationship, but honestly, if the people in said relationships don't like some of their significant others major attributes, then clearly, there's no point in being with them. No one should change the way they are for anyone one else. It also goes the other way that no one should change some one else to suit their needs. All it brings is a shit storm in the end.

So if a female is ever into me, its going to be for who I am. Me, the overweight, darkly cynical geek who swears a lot, loves watching pain inflicted on people who deserve it, enjoys cartoons and likes to wander about in weird places for the hell of it. Other wise, why bother.

Besides, not that it really matters. Back when I was thin and dressed more appropriately, it wasn't like I was some fucking pussy magnet. No, I was just like I am now, except thinner, had a positive out look on life, less racist, and a bit more naive. And it still yielded no results and just oodles of heartbreak!

So, I stands my motto, "Fuck you", when it comes to people calling me out on what I do with my life. If you don't like the way I am, don't associate with me, and I'll do the same.

Ah...Poopie

I believe that it was Hunter S Thompson that said we live in a savage world. I have to agree with him.

Mear moments before I sat down to hammer out some sort of nonsensical rambling, my neighbor knocked on our door and asked us if we had used the laundry room. My mother and I told him no, and asked why. Usually its because someone left their cloths inside one of the machines or something of that matter. Well, it wasn't that. The query was because when our neighbor walked into the laundry room, it smelled. Real bad. It wasn't mildew either. Upon inspection, the culprit was found.

Some one dropped a deuce in the garbage can.

He quickly disposed of it and that's where we come in with him knocking at my door.

I'll admit, I chuckled a bit. Shit is funny. The fact that used food matter combined with colon lined bacteria that emits an odor of death to be used in horrible ways has entertained mankind since the dawn of time.

My brother has an extensive photo collection of the alphabet.. I'll leave it at that.

Though, it dose remind me of an experience I had at work, one that pushed me like a desperate mother pushes her bastard child in front of a bus, into the person I am today.

When I was working a the Family Twin Cinema, I was a one man army. I did everything>. And I'm not tooting my own horn.. I literally did everything. I was like a Mexican migrant worker at this place.

Now, this place wasn't big. There was the lobby, and two theaters. The lobby was the size of a small apartment, so I could see everyone coming in and out during the movies. Well, this one day, a man who looked like he told death that he'd be back home in an hour shuffled out of the theater doors. I was behind the counter, not working, and watched as this guy took 3 minutes to walk across the 15 feet of floor to the bathroom. He went in and I went back to reading my stack of comic books I smuggled in while the boss was sleeping in the other theater.

About 35 minutes went by, and I finished all 12 books I had picked up that day (I bought everything at this time of my life..even Teen Titans GO!) I decided to actually do some work, and started cleaning up around the place. I grabbed my nifty spray bottle and sauntered into the men's bathroom. I cracked open the door and beheld a sight that could not be unseen.

There, standing at the sink, was the old guy, bare ass. He didn't see me and I saw everything I didn't want to see (so many spots) and walked right out. I figured the guy was a bit soft in the head and put an out of order sign on the door to give the guy some time to put his pants back on.

25 minutes rolls by and he finally walks out. It was at this time that my boss finally came back out to the front and I point at him that the old guy walking back into the theater had his pants off in the bathroom. We both laughed and thought it was funny and I walked into the bathroom to clean it.

The second that door swung open.. my spidey senses started tingling. Something was amiss. I opened the door to the first stall, and it was like a moment out of a movie, when the hero comes upon a crime scene, and his eyes bulge out and his head moves like a cat following a flash light on the wall. Word's failed me.

The stall looked like a bear had eaten one to many tacos, and couldn't hold it. There was shit EVERY WERE! Not just on the toilet, but the stall, the toilet paper holder, the floor. Oh, the floor. When my eyes were adverted downwards, I noticed the mass of shit on the floor, but that wasn't all. I noticed that it moved like a trail of ants, all the way to the sink....

Walking over to the sink, it was Destroyed! Just nibblits of shit everywhere. Apparently, when I walked in on the old fuck, he was cleaning his pants off. I know this because he threw away his boxers in the paper towel trash can. I swear, infants are cleaner than this fuck was.

I walked outside to get some air, and called my boss over. I couldn't be the only witness to this. He came over and I told him to walk inside, not telling him what lied beyond. He took two steps in, I heard a gag, and he walked out, put his hand on my should and said.."GOOD LUCK"

I mumbled a racial slure in anger (but the dude was white, so it dint matter) and grabbed 3 bottles of bleach and 2 mops. Over the next half hour, and I was rushing as people would start coming in for the next showings very soon, I scrapped and mopped poop like a CSI cleaner. Just chunks and niblits of what this man ate in a redwood tree's worth of paper towels. Pants ruined from gallons of bleach being sloshed around. I think I got high, or brain damage, from the bleach fumes combined with the air freshener. When I was done, the place was cleaner than a hospital O.R.

As the movie ended, I sat complacently behind the counter, giving the old bastard the best stink eye I could> It went unnoticed..

From that day forward, my tolerance for people dropped by spades. For when you have to clean a grown mans shit out of a sink, you've seen the 1 ring of hell.

Arrested Development...

So,I had what could be described as Panic or Anxiety attack last week.

I've been staring at WEBMD for the last few days, and wouldn't recommend doing that to anyone. For now I'm afraid that I might be suffering from the Bends and Ectopic Pregnancy. But, the whole thing kinda shook me. It was an attack that came out of nowhere, as I was driving home at 1 am from a friends house. Luckily, I had some one in the car with me in case it got too bad and I needed someone to take the wheel. This massive wave of paranoia and untimely death just rushed over me, and my heart went from calm to HOLY JESUS FUCK, and I felt like some one kicked me in the balls. I then began going through everything I hadn't done yet in life and needed to do. It was like the flashes that a person got in DARK CITY after they had new memories implanted in them. It just ended up printing out in my head like a massive to do list that never got done.

I never finished any but one screen play.
I never got to make a movie.
I hadn't seen the world yet.

Then it hit me that I had no love life to speak of. That kinda kept the thing flared up.

Thankfully, after a half hour, and getting my friend dropped off, the attack subsided. It was kind of an eye opener to how frustrated I am with my life at this moment. It's not that I'm not happy, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the good life I have compared to others. No, its the fact that I've made promises to myself, promises that are poorly kept. I get mad at myself for some of the stuff I do and don't do a lot. I don't realize that I'm wasting time some times, but then there are other times when I fully realize it, but don't do anything about it.

After consulting WEB MD some more, I think that I have symptoms of Adult HDADD:

10 Symptoms of Adult ADHD

Many people think of rowdy kids who can’t sit still when they think of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. But the fact is, symptoms of ADHD can linger into adulthood. In fact, many adults with ADHD aren’t aware they have it and don’t realize that many of the problems they face, including staying organized or being on time, are symptoms of adult ADHD.
What Causes Adult ADHD?

While experts don’t know for sure what causes ADHD, they believe genes may play an important part in who develops attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Environmental issues, such as exposure to cigarettes or alcohol while in the womb, may also play a role.

Unlike other psychiatric disorders, including anxiety and depression, ADHD can’t develop in the adult years. So symptoms must have been present since childhood for a diagnosis of adult ADHD to be made.
10 Adult ADHD Symptoms

The conventionally used diagnostic criteria for ADHD, including the most common symptoms, were developed based on how the condition shows itself in children.

These symptoms include forgetfulness and excessive daydreaming, as well as an inability to sit still, or constant fidgeting with objects.

Yet many experts think adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder symptoms manifest themselves differently and more subtly. This can make it difficult to recognize and diagnose adult ADHD.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 1: Problems Getting Organized

For people with ADHD, the increased responsibilities of adulthood -- bills, jobs, and children, to name a few -- can make problems with organization more obvious and more harmful than in childhood. While some ADHD symptoms are more annoying to other people than to the person with the condition, disorganization is often identified by adults struggling with ADHD as a major detractor from quality of life.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 2: Reckless Driving and Traffic Accidents

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder makes it hard to keep your attention on a task, so spending time behind the wheel of a car can be difficult. Because of this, ADHD can make some people more likely to speed, have traffic accidents, and lose their driver’s licenses.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 3: Marital Problems

Many people without ADHD have marital problems, of course, so a troubled marriage shouldn’t be seen as a red flag for adult ADHD. But there are some marriage problems that are particularly likely to affect the relationships of those with ADHD. Often, the partners of people with undiagnosed ADHD take poor listening skills and an inability to honor commitments as a sign that their partner doesn’t care. If you’re the person suffering from ADHD, you may not understand why you’re partner is upset, and you may feel you’re being nagged or blamed for something that’s not your fault.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 4: Extreme Distractibility

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a problem with attention regulation, so adult ADHD can make it difficult to succeed in today’s fast-paced, hustle-bustle world. Many people find that distractibility can lead to a history of career underperformance, especially in noisy or busy offices. If you have adult ADHD, you might find that phone calls or email derail your attention, making it hard for you to finish tasks.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 5: Poor Listening Skills

Do you zone out during long business meetings? Did your husband forget to pick up little Jimmy at baseball practice, even though you called to remind him on his way home? Problems with attention result in poor listening skills in many adults with ADHD, leading to a lot of missed appointments and misunderstandings.
Adult ADHD Symptom No. 6: Restlessness, Problems Relaxing

While many children with ADHD are “hyperactive,” this ADHD symptom often appears differently in adults. Rather than bouncing off the walls, adults with ADHD are more likely to exhibit restlessness or find they can’t relax. If you have adult ADHD, others might describe you as edgy or tense.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 7: Problems Starting a Task

Just as children with ADHD often put off doing homework, people with adult ADHD often drag their feet when starting tasks that require a lot of attention. This procrastination often adds to existing problems, including marital disagreements, workplace issues, and problems with friends.
Adult ADHD Symptom No. 8: Chronic Lateness

There are many reasons adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are usually late. First, they’re often distracted on the way to an event, maybe realizing the car needs to be washed, and then noticing they’re low on gas, and before they know it an hour has gone by. People with adult ADHD also tend to underestimate how much time it takes to finish a task, whether it’s a major assignment at work or a simple home repair.

Adult ADHD Symptom No. 9: Angry Outbursts

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder often leads to problems controlling emotions. Many people with adult ADHD are quick to explode over minor issues. Often, the person with ADHD feels as if they have absolutely no control over their emotions. Many times, their anger fades as quickly as it flared, long before the people who dealt with the outburst have gotten over the incident.
Adult ADHD Symptom No. 10: Prioritizing Issues

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can wreak havoc on planning, too. Often, people with adult ADHD mis-prioritize, failing to meet big obligations, like a deadline at work, while spending countless hours on something insignificant, such as getting a higher score on a video game.


Now, I don't suffer from Driving issues, or marital problems, but I more or less have a lot of these issues.

I think it might be hereditary. Cause my dad has some of these problems too, and he's got the failed marriage under his belt also. But I'm very self aware at the same time, while being overly paranoid (which I get from my mother) and that last Paragraph really nailed home a good problem that I know that I suffer from. I plan and plan, but never follow through properly, and I waste countless hours on the net doing next to nothing some times. Or I write, and when I write, I get frustrated that it's never as good as I think my writing should be.

It might also account for my non existent love life. But I chop that up to social awkwardness, weight, and my under par looks.

The kicker is that I know that I can do some of the stuff I set out to do. But I always find myself cutting it short or never finishing it. Its what a goldfish must feel like, that's probably why they're so content with sitting in a bowl sucking on fake pebbles all day.

All I know is that I'm 25. I made a promise to myself at the age of 16 after reading REBEL WITH OUT A CREW that I would be on my way to a career in film at this age. Instead, I'm no better off than I was in High school. With the years going by faster, I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to wake up one day, 48, and realized that I've done nothing with my life, and drown my sorrows at a buffet until my eventual death by Tidal Wave at the beach one night.



I think I'm going to lay off energy drinks for a bit..

Creepiness is living in an upstairs loft!

As I write this, I'm very tired. Why? Because I was up very late last night. See I had gone and peeped Wolverine with my good friend Melissa. After enjoying 90 minutes of Huge Jackman's naked upper torso, I came home. Home being my grandparents place were I currently dwell between apartment living. I talked for an hour to a very passionate Elisabeth, who had, like Popeye, had all she could stands and couldn't stands no more from the same movie I had just watched. After our conversation ended, I rolled over to try to get some sleep before it would be too late..

Well, that didn't work. See, the upstairs portion of the house I'm living at not only creaks, but I swear that there are small, shadow gremlins living there and try to get me at night. Get me with their rape spoons!

Its the fact that the room, once the door is closed, is a black hole of sound. The silence is literally deafening. And with that, and no light, the mind wanders. Add to that that there is a constant creak and buckle of the house, my sleep patterns are way off.

From my past experiences sleeping there, sleeping in this room is like sleeping in a sound deprivation chamber, and that's the bad thing!

With no outside noise, my mind wont shut up at night! And it gets bad! I start thinking of scenarios of horrible things that could go wrong! Strange Muppet men coming out of the closet to grab me! Oh, then there the almost A.D.D. habit of contemplating the different events of my own demise! And praying for Nanotechnology to get cranking. Thinking of ones mortality is not a bad thing, but when you start thinking, and the wheels don't stop, one dosnt sleep, and when I don't sleep, I get paranoid to the point that I fall asleep out of pure exhaustion.

Now, I would take Nightquil for this, but its like doing drugs, and my dreams became horrible tapestries of pale men with no lips and eyelids standing over my bed and just breathing on me before they scamper back into my closet (this actually happened to me one night. I awoke to see what looked like foot prints walking over my dirty cloths on the floor and the cloths in my closet sway as if something parted them!)

I've been told I have a creative mind... I think I have an active mind, but creativity is a bit of s stretch sometimes.

So now, I sleep with the radio on high, and the fan on full blast even if its freezing. Noise is good! Noise keeps the darkies away! (Darkies soon to be a film when I pull some sort of miracle out of my ass)

Im not sure were I was going with this....

Fat on Fat thinking....

There is something wrong with this country.

The other day, I was at Souplantation with a friend. As I dipped my bread stick in Ranch Dressing for the umpteenth time, my head perked up like a raptor in the tall grass to what sounded like a group of chinchillas being sodomized with reeds. It was a table of women, all LARGE and IN CHARGE, and it was then I realized that there was no one under 250 pounds in this place to be seen.

I found it ironic that in Souplantation, a self proclaimed "healthy" eatery, is filled with nothing but Water buffalo and Dugongs. Yet, In and Out, a place that prides its self on its Double Double Hamburgers and Shakes, is filled with anorexic emo kids and modestly fit families.

Its as if Bizzaro world is starting to merge with our world, and people of its land are pushing mind altering drugs on us.

It was at this time that I pondered this question, as I sat in front of my salad pile, that had noodles, croutons, 3 kinds of oils and vinegars, beacon bits, cheese and FAT FREE honey mustard dressing that's shaped like the Devil's Tower from Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind. (and believe me, the fact that my last name is EATON and Im grossly overweight is not lost on me)What the fuck? How could this be. It must be the same reaction when people learn that there was a serial killer living next door to them for years and always thought that strange smell was just his compost pile in the back because the guy is ECO FRIENDLY.

My friend then pointed out that this place is still a BUFFET style restaurant. Meaning all you can eat, as he pointed to the stack of bread sticks on my plate. Because it has its "HEALTHY STATUS", everyone here eats more than Swine at their troughs, and super load on the inhuman amount of carbs that are included in said meal. Meanwhile, everyone who eats at In and Out, well, are health nuts getting a quick fix of junk food so they don't go completely insane, before they go mountain biking or, if they're emo scene kids, go cut themselves in self pity.

It put a damper on the place. Noting that most of the crowd there that night were all rocking sweat pants and tight fitting shirts. Something I would of expected at HOEMTOWN BUFFET, but not here.

It just made me realize that, A) I need to pay attention more B) we're mostly fucked as a race.

Considering my weight issues, I thought long and hard about my eating habits. Then, I went back to dunking my cheesy bread stick into a vat of home style ranch dressing.

My gym pass will get proper use one of these days...